The Halftime Walk

Mason (or a dog that looks like him, at least)

The last time the this year's AFC finalists (Steelers and Jets) played each other, I took my roommate's dog Mason out for a walk at halftime. As he excitedly ran around the block sniffing, eating dirt, and peeing on things, we ran into one of our neighbors walking his dog at the same time. He recognized Mason, but not me. I'm still relatively new to the area.

As our two dogs played together and sniffed each other's buttholes, we smiled cordially at each other and waited. A few more seconds passed, and he sensed my impatience and broke the silence.

"Halftime walk?"

I love dogs. Everything about them. I love the way their tails wag when they see you. I love how they love other dogs. I love how they stare at your dinner while you eat it. I love how they shake themselves off when they get wet. I love how they chew your flip-flops until they don't flop anymore.

Most of all, whether they like it or not, I love that they wait until halftime. What a concept. Can you imagine saying to your girlfriend, "Babe, I really want to hear about your problems with work today, but can it wait until halftime? And by the way, it has to stop after 15 minutes, or maybe less if the Beastie Boys are playing." It wouldn't happen. Nor should it. This is 2011, after all. When President Obama gives his State of The Union next week, I highly doubt they'll be anything in there about the need to pass a Halftime Complaining Act. It just wouldn't get the votes.

But until dogs become better represented in Congress, well, they'll just have to keep waiting.


Championship Weekend Picks

Bears (+3.5) vs. Packers (Sun, 3:00 ET). Speaking of dogs, I was NOT expecting Chicago to be getting points at home, let alone this many. I'll take 'em.

Steelers (-3.5) vs. Jets (Sun, 6:30 ET). The Jets' eerie silence this week concerns me, and I see Pittsburgh getting at least one huge controversial call from the refs. It's happened all freaking year.

Last Week: 3-1
Season: 47-48-4